H&O's Incredible 3 Ring Writing Circus

2006-02-26T04:12:00.000+11:00

New Episode to Magic for Beginners!!!!!!

Click here!

It's been a long time coming... but it's pretty long so I haven't TOTALLY ripped you off!

More to come... watch this space!

Return of the Grievous Angel

2005-10-25T23:17:00.000+10:00

Avast! We are proud to announce the continuation of The Serialised Adventures of James Benjamin. Book Two in this magnificent series kicks off with a triptych of potraits known as...

Chapter 18. Before You Go Out To Do A Book Reading
Chapter 19. When You Do A Book Reading
Chapter 20. After A Book Reading

We are also quietly pleased that The Adventures have cracked the mystical 20-chapter barrier. It's been said that once something scales to the dizzying heights of 20 chapters, the only thing that will turn it around is whiskey, pickles, or both.

From the H&O editorial slave galley

The Serialised Adventure Is Over

2005-10-07T11:29:00.000+10:00

Book One of The Serialised Adventures Of James Benjamin has come to an end. We leave JB, Sam Friday, Aurore Clement, Alfonse Tabernacle and everything from the early days right on the brink of madness.
Like I told someone yesterday, all the seams are about to bust open, and light's gonna fly out of them there seams and burn up everything it touches. However, I doubt they remember me saying that. It happens.

See how it all ends with:
Chapter 16. Untitled Chapter (or) I Remember A Time When Once You Used To Love Me
Chapter 17. Long Lost Letter To Ohio

Of course, the adventure doesn't end there. Keep an eye out for Book Two, which is stirring in the slave galley as I write these very words. I know the title of this post is misleading, but that's what you get from an ex-journalist. I don't care about anything anymore.

Mr O'Brien: lost his meds.

2005-09-23T02:57:00.000+10:00

Magic for Beginners UPDATED

Part 5 1/2
To there and back

What do you do when your wife cheats on you? Why you take a road trip holiday of course! But magic is just that kind of thing that you can't run away from.

Now read on...

The universe expands, The Beatles were right, More Adventures, etc... We bring you cutbyscissors

2005-09-22T22:50:00.000+10:00

Proving that the H&O universe is expanding faster than a theoretical Big Bang, and thus winning a bet that netted James Benjamin and xtn a controlling stake in a temperamental racehorse, we bring you the work of our acquaintance and self-declared nemesis: cutbyscissors.
He hails from many places, including Peru and Titan-9, but at present we can only contact him through our people way out on the West Coast. Follow his troubadour travels in cutbyscissors - brought to you proudly and with heartfelt enthusiasm from the tireless staff at H&O.

We don't mind not getting paid because The Beatles were right.

We also bring you more from the Tremoroll of James Benjamin. Look out for these:
Chapter 13: That's The Kind Of Guy He Really Was
Chapter 14: Selling Out To The Jorgg Obtervasse Operation
Chapter 15: Oscillating Wildly

Management, working late, wishing there was someone to impress.

Something... extraordinary...

2005-09-18T18:21:00.000+10:00

After many weeks of complicated negotiations, H&O are pleased to announce the syndication of The Extraordinary Titles Newsletter as part of this fine website and as a continuation of their commitment to superlative fiction everywhere.
You can find a selection of the finest ET newsletters here, with more to follow.
As always, contributions to these annals of excellence are not only welcomed, but encouraged with a savage grin and a wild eyed salutation of madness.

Management

Dead Penguins, Dead Flowers, More Adventures...

2005-09-13T23:26:00.000+10:00

Three new chapters of James Benjamin's adventures have been released for your reading pleasure. You can find these:

Chapter 10. Eerie Scenes In Penguin On My Twenty-Fifth Birthday
Chapter 11. Cast Into An Uncomfortable Ocean
Chapter 12. December: Enter Sam Friday And My Hank Griffin Hat

And their preceding companion chapters here, where the wild things are.
We regret that some of Benjamin's racier material had to be omitted from our electronic digest, but can be made available for the right price.

This message composed by Mr O'Brien, sent to H&O via smoke signal.

What's the go with H&O?

2005-09-12T02:02:00.000+10:00

An article by Claude van den Cloggenhoffen
‘Claude, get in here!’ was the greeting I got on my first day at H&O. My bosses were sitting around in their office, eating gyozas and throwing paper aeroplanes out the window.

Slumped in his armchair, the editor known only as xtn looks like a beaten martial arts warrior. Eyes half-closed, cheeks drained of colour. James Benjamin, the self-proclaimed ‘Rebel with a clause’, is more lively but his bloodshot eyes betray his façade.

It’s 7:30 in the morning.

I would learn that this is how every day begins at H&O. The day normally ends with a visit from Mr Gin and Mr Scotch. Then repeat.

Now it all makes sense, right?

It wasn’t always like this though. Before that fateful night when xtn and Benjamin won the ownership of the publishing company in a pool game at Chatswood RSL, H&O had been many things over many years.

It all began humbly, as most beginnings do, in 1921 when immigrants Christos Harmanovic and Jakob Obrienstein left their menial jobs at Maximillion Piper’s Three Ring Circus to establish the H&O Publishing Co. in a small office on 74 Cherry Lane, Jacksonville NC in the good old U.S of A.

They published small volume fiction periodicals, featuring their own stories and those of several young writers in the area. After five years of barely keeping afloat, the two literary pioneers finally made a breakthrough with a triad of new serials which proved wildly popular to the mainstream.

The Adventures of Wonky Willy and the House of Lollies were tales of mystery and intrigue set in the magical factory of an eccentric candy maker.

War in the Stars was a science fiction adventure, featuring Duke Landrunner and his fight for freedom against the Evil Galactic Kingdom.

The Caribbean Pirate King was high adventure in the seven seas, starring Captain Johnny Deepwater.

These stories eventually got the attention of famous local folk musician Ryan Allans, who would become a primary financial benefactor in their rise to the big time.

Obrienstein and Harmanovic, with benefactor Ryan Allans

With Allans’ backing, H&O moved their office to New York City and, by 1930, had a 250-strong staff. H&O publications reached far and wide and achieved a constant growth for the next ten years, becoming the top fiction periodical publishers in America. Their titles even were shipped to other countries and translated into five languages. These were their glory years.

The H&O Building in New York City, 1930

The Forties proved to be difficult times, however, as the comic strip medium began to take attention away from the pulps. In desperation, not being able to compete and lacking the creative resources to produce comics, H&O tried their hand at smut. This was the beginning of the end. In 1943, they released An Afternoon in Paris, a racy romance about a down and out hack and a young and beautiful hotel heiress. The title sold relatively well but successive new titles in the genre failed to impress the masses and effectively destroyed the company’s good reputation.

With the company spiralling towards bankruptcy, Harmanovic took to alcoholism and Obrienstein became a recluse and reportedly never left his mansion for months on end. Allans, who managed to remain relatively sane in all the mess, convinced the two to start afresh elsewhere and so, in 1947, H&O closed their New York office and moved down under to Australia, where the pulp market was still far healthier. Allans wrote and released a hit song about the ordeal called Come pick yourselves up.

So now what happened between 1947 and the company’s internet relaunch in 2005?

Those stories are for another time…

More Adventures...

2005-09-06T22:34:00.000+10:00

The The Serialised Adventures of James Benjamin continue with the arrival of Chapter 9: On The Fifteenth Night He Came Riding Out Of The Wild West... He Tipped His Hat To My Mother.

Also stay tuned for the arrival of several breathtaking new fictions which are currently in progress. H&O: it's like mace for your soul.

Barely dictated, mostly deducted from a static-flooded audio tape recorded by Mr O'Brien, late yesterday. He mentioned something about "letting loose the monkey" which we have informed the relevant authorities about. The fiend.

Management

The Serialised Adventures of James Benjamin continue...

2005-09-04T17:14:00.000+10:00

New chapters have arrived for the Serialised Adventures of James Benjamin. You can find those here.
These chapters are known as Chapter 7: Aurore Clément After Surviving A Mediterranean Shipwreck, and Chapter 8: Last Drinks At The Chatswood RSL, Goodbyes Like Kerouac, Everything A Crashing Zeppelin.

That's all for now. Don't spend too long thinking about the whys and wherefors.

Mr O'Brien, dictated but not read, wearing his old pink bathrobe on a Sunday.

2005-09-02T02:27:00.000+10:00

Magic for Beginners updated

Part 4
'I'm taking the tuna with me'

She's betrayed him. He's drunk. And now all he has are eighteen cans of tuna.

Now read on...

2005-08-28T23:53:00.000+10:00

DON'T BE ALARMED!

It's been less than a week out and we are already making changes to the layout of this wondrous site. Serials will now have their own separate sites, all linked back to the main Circus page, which will be reserved for singular posts and updates only. Links to serials are on the left.

Thank you. That is all.

Management